For the first time in a long time (in my humble opinion), there were scores of beautiful dresses on the red carpet last night. Here are a few of them:
These are the dresses that should have been seriously reconsidered.
Alas, last night’s awards show was probably the worst-written thing I’ve ever seen. Andy Samberg was positively goofy, and he seemed to elicit more groans than laughs…in my household, anyway.
The fashions didn’t exactly dazzle me either. While there are a few that made it to my good list, I lost count on the bads. These are the ones I liked:
Lady Gaga [There’s more after her. WordPress is into massive spacing today.]
Jamie Lee Curtis
Alan Cumming: Because…Alan Cumming!
The ones that missed missed by a mile:
Heidi Klum: aka Big Bird
Joanna Newsom: Every woman should wear a dinner plate on her chest.
Naomi Watts: This dress requires some serious hoiking up.
Naomi Grossman: I can see your belly button, but I’m guessing that’s what you had in mind.
Nazanin Boniadi: Illusion netting at its worst
Padma Lakshmi: Ghastly color and at least one size too small
It’s all so subjective. I loved dresses that others panned…I chuckled at gowns that others thought were glorious. So here it is…one more person’s (pretty much) irrelevant opinions.
Naomi Watts – That black band makes it look like she’s wearing a gown over a tube top.
Solange Knowles – Too. Much. Fabric.
Chrissy Teigen – Not enough fabric.
Felicity Jones – Overwhelming, but not in a good way.
Jennifer Lopez – If boob tape didn’t exist, she’d never have anything to wear.
Lorelei Linklater – I know she’s just a kid, but this is trying way too hard to be a grown-up…the wrong kind of grown-up.
In many instances, the theme of last night’s Golden Globes should have been “Eat a Sandwich.” There were several terrifyingly thin bodies on the red carpet, highlighted by this one:
There’s no dress on the planet that could possibly have made her look attractive.
Other misses included:
Rosamond Pike (I don’t care if you just had a baby. Try something that actually fits.)
Amanda Peet (Tablecloth or bedspread?)
Lena Dunham (Posture, girl, posture.)
Zosia Mamet (This poor girl desperately needs a stylist.)
On a positive note, there were a few dresses that I loved:
Jenna Dewan Tatum